Friday, July 9, 2010

Welcome to Retail

Reasons I love working at the ice cream store are too many to list. However, some of my experiences in retail have led me to really appreciate good jobs.

Example one: I have cleaned up pee in a dressing room
Example two: Had a guy flirt with me by way of Freudian slips
Example three: 2 teenagers had sex in one of the dressing rooms. Ick.

Example four: The day before Christmas Eve, I was taking one of those gray security tags off a coat, I accidentally ripped part of the thing that makes it hang on a coat hook.
This is the exchange that followed:
Me: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen.
Mean Guy: Well, I don't want it anymore.
Me: Really?
Mean Guy: Well, I should get a discount.
Me: Well, sir, there are 6 people in line behind you and I can call my manager if you really want me to, and I'm really sorry it happened...
Mean Guy: (Interrupts me and starts JUMPING UP AND DOWN) I don't want it anymore!!!!
Me: I'm really sorry, sir.
Mean Guy's wife: For god's sake, stop being such a dick. I can sew it back on.
Mean Guy: Fine. Whatever. Why are you taking so long?

I finish bagging their items and send them on their way.

The next person comes up and smiles at me. My cheeks are flaming red.
Nice woman: Are you ok?
Me: I'm embarrassed.
Nice woman: Don't be. Some people are just assholes.

Example five: A 4 year old boy told me that I should have babies.
Me: Oh, why?
Boy: Cause you'd make a good mommy.
Me: Oh, well, thank you. I think I want to finish college first.
His mom and dad: Smart choice.
Boy: No.
Me: No?
Boy: No. I want you to have babies now.
Me: Um, I don't think I'm ready.
Boy: Why not?
Me: Cause I don't have money.
Boy: Oh. Well, you should still have them.
Me: Ok, when I do, should I have a boy baby or a girl baby?
Boy: You should have my sister.
Me: Oh, a girl baby.
Boy: No. My sister.

At this point, his parents decide to steer him out of the store.

1 comment:

  1. where the heck do you work? the freakin Twilight Zone or something? haha