Monday, April 26, 2010

A Fake Romance

Last year, before school finished for summer, I got a facebook message from my First Kiss Boy who’s in one of the Dakotas-North or South, I can never remember.
Hmm, I thought. I could go for a summer romance-fling-type-thing. That was unintentional rhyming.

So First Kiss Boy took me out to ice cream. He made amends for being a jackass in high school, told me I was “even prettier and cuter” than he remembered, and asked if I wanted to go to a movie with him that night.

I did. We saw Star Trek, holding hands through the whole movie, and then went to the midnight showing of Up a couple hours later. Up is one of my favorite movies.

He drove me home in between the movies and parked his car. “I really want to kiss you. How would you feel about that?” I responded “I think I would be okay with that.” He kissed me, and while it was really nice, there weren’t any magical fireworks. But that wasn’t what I was looking for.

First Kiss Boy took me to movies, and we would make out in his car afterward. One night, he came over to my house and after talking about how we didn’t want to date each other (always a good conversation to have), we were making out when he suddenly breaks away and says “Would you like to dance?” I confusedly replied “Um, there’s no music.” He pulled me off my bed, and starts trying to slow dance with me. I’m a little befuddled, but trying to go with it.

Then he asks what time it is, and I tell him. “Shit! I have to work tomorrow!” I walk him to the door, and he tells me that he’ll call me tomorrow.

Okay. So he calls me, and I’m headed to the one-act plays at the local community theatre. I invite him, and he tells me that he’ll try and make it. I go, with no intention of seeing him, skirt and heels on, head held high. I watch the one acts with some friends and make an unobtrusive exit once they end.

I’m waiting to cross at the light when First Kiss Boy pulls up. “Where are you going?” “Home.” “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it, do you want to hang out?” “Sure.” We go and get food, and drive around for a while. Eventually, he asks if I want to go to his house. I had never been there before, so I say yes.

We get to his house. His parents are in the living room. “Anna! We’ve heard so much about you! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” “Oh, thank you so much! Your house is lovely.” First Kiss Boy and I go up the stairs to his room, and start making out. His hand starts to go under my skirt, and I move it. “Oh. Right. I’m celibate” he says.
“Wait. What? Since when?”
“Since I decided I wanted to re-virginize myself for marriage.”
“Oh. Um, okay.”
 
You can't re-virginize yourself, buddy.

We keep kissing, and the he pulls away and sighs a deep, heavy sigh.

“What’s up?” I ask.
“This is weird.”
“How so?”
“I don’t like you. Not in that way.”
“Okay. Then you should probably take me home.”
He nods in assent, and we walk downstairs.
“Leaving so soon, Anna?” his mom cheerfully asks.
“Yeah, thanks for having me over. It was nice to meet you.”
“You too, dear. Watch out for the steps.”
“Will do.”

First Kiss Boy and I get into his car, and he starts driving me home. We’re both immersed in our thoughts when he breaks the silence.
“Anna, I need to tell you something.”

Oh shit, this sentence never leads to anything good.

“Okay.”
“I don’t like you. I’m in love with this gorgeous volunteer firefighter, and I never should have done anything with you. It was wrong, all wrong, and I was wrong, because I like her too much and respect her too much to do anything with you. Besides, we’re both different people than we were in high school, and I’m just not interested in you at all.”
“Okay, thanks for telling me the truth, I guess? I hope things work out with the firefighter?”
He finally gets to my house, and he sticks his hand out to shake.
“Friends?” he asks with that ever-so-charming smile of his.
“No, we weren’t friends to begin with. But I hope everything works out for you.”

I shut the car door, and make my way to the front door, shaking my head.

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